Tonight I was addressed once more by a well meaning person who mentioned that if he ever adopted, he would adopt domestically. This same person has mentioned to my husband that we really should be adopting a child from the United States. He didn't say quite that much to me about it, though. He was polite to me, so I was polite to him. But the truth is, we get that from people now and then, and it bothers me. My rule of thumb is to be as forward with someone as they are being with me, and that usually works out just fine. But now I've been lying in bed (although the caffeine in my sweet tea probably has something to do with it) with these things running through my mind, unable to sleep, so I thought maybe it would help if I shared them.
I think adoption is wonderful. Adoption here, adoption there - it's all good! So when someone tells me something like "We really should adopt a child in our own country first," it offends me. Honestly, it kind of makes me angry. To those people, I want to present this scenario.
Imagine you have lots of kids. Just for conversation's sake, let's say you have five. You raise them all, they're wonderful people and you're crazy about all five of them, just like any parent should be. Four of them grow up and live in the middle TN area just like you do, and one has an outstanding job opportunity and moves to California. Now, imagine the child in California needs help! They've been hurt, they lost their job, their home was damaged...whatever kind of disaster you want to imagine. You can't get there, so it's up to one of your other children to get there and help them. What are you thoughts? Probably something like "How soon can you get there?! GO!" Or, on second thought, wait a minute. Do you think that a loving parent would say to the child who lives in Lebanon "No, honey, I know your brother in CA needs you right now, and his house has burned down, and he has nowhere to stay, but don't you think you should check on your brothers and sisters here first, and help the one who lives in Mt. Juliet instead?"
Would that make any sense?!
I think of God as the perfect parent. That's why we call him Our Father! Can we honestly say that we think, one day, adoptive parents will get to the gates of Heaven, look into the eyes of God Himself, and hear Him say "You've done a good job. You've helped my children. You've given them a home and a family. You saved them. But I would really have preferred you helped one of my children who was geographically closer to you than the one who was in a different country." Um, I think not.
To John and me, the location of the child is irrelevant, other than affecting the means by which we need to bring them home. We considered adopting from the US, as well as Africa and Haiti...we've considered anywhere, really. We do have other reasons we choose to adopt from Korea and China. While some of them are a personal choice that we have every right to choose, believe it or not, one reason we adopt from other countries is actually patriotic.
Here's the thing. I did not earn the right to be an American. It is a God-given privilege. Some might say the military have earned that right, and to those who serve, and have served, in our military, I say THANK YOU. I am genuinely grateful! But when those men and women were newborn babies, they hadn't fought for our freedom yet anymore than I have now. If you were born in the U.S.A., you did not deserve that privilege any more than the babies born in Africa or China. God just smiled upon us, people, and blessed us with being a United States citizen. We're just that lucky...or just that blessed, however you want to see it.
There are babies in China now, whose birth parents had to be courageous to even carry them through pregnancy and give birth to them. If those birth parents had been caught pregnant, they would have had a government-mandated abortion. And the babies have no idea. They were left on a door step, or at the park, or the street corner, and they have no idea that they're lucky to even be alive and healthy (if they are healthy). They have no idea where they are. They have no idea because they didn't ask for it, and they don't deserve it.
There are kids in Africa right now who are happy because they're loved. They don't have much, but they've got their family. They have no idea that by the time they're five years old, both their parents will die of malaria or of AIDS. And they will be lucky to live to be an adult, because life expectancy there is nothing like what it is here. They have no idea, because they didn't ask for it, and they don't deserve it.
It sounds cheesy, yes, but I truly am "Proud to be an American." And I'm THANKFUL. And I'm HUMBLED. So why would I look at this gift that was given me, and say to an orphaned child that it's my gift, and I'm going to try to take care of other kids who were given the same gift first, and if I had anything left over, then I will try to send something to them too? The sad fact is that the poverty stricken of the United States are better off than the middle class in some countries. There are people here who are jobless, who are on welfare who receive food stamps, and while those people may very much need that help too, they did not earn the right to live in a country who will help them. The poor in other countries make the poor of America look wealthy. There are people who drink the same water they bathe in. There are kids whose parents walk 20 miles one way to get them an antibiotic because there are no such things as pharmacies where they live. I thank God I don't have to do that! So why would I not want to cherish this gift and share it with a child who is less fortunate? ...Specifically, a child less fortunate who has no parents to provide for her?
I've had someone say to me (I try to tell myself she meant well) "I'm Proud of my country! I think people should adopt from the United States! Kids here need help, too!" Yes, I agree, orphaned children in the US need help as well as orphaned children anywhere. However, I do not agree that an orphaned child in one region needs to be adopted before an orphaned child in another. You adopt from here; I'll adopt from there. Adoption is God's work. If someone would like to tell me and my husband that we aren't doing God's work correctly, then by all means, please show us how it should be done. It would find homes and families for more orphaned children.
Some day, we'd like to adopt another child from the US. Honestly, we joke that we'd like to get one from each country! I know we could never afford that, but a colorful diversity sounds good to us! But this time around, we're going with China, because it's just what's right or us now.
I think adoption is wonderful. Adoption here, adoption there - it's all good! So when someone tells me something like "We really should adopt a child in our own country first," it offends me. Honestly, it kind of makes me angry. To those people, I want to present this scenario.
Imagine you have lots of kids. Just for conversation's sake, let's say you have five. You raise them all, they're wonderful people and you're crazy about all five of them, just like any parent should be. Four of them grow up and live in the middle TN area just like you do, and one has an outstanding job opportunity and moves to California. Now, imagine the child in California needs help! They've been hurt, they lost their job, their home was damaged...whatever kind of disaster you want to imagine. You can't get there, so it's up to one of your other children to get there and help them. What are you thoughts? Probably something like "How soon can you get there?! GO!" Or, on second thought, wait a minute. Do you think that a loving parent would say to the child who lives in Lebanon "No, honey, I know your brother in CA needs you right now, and his house has burned down, and he has nowhere to stay, but don't you think you should check on your brothers and sisters here first, and help the one who lives in Mt. Juliet instead?"
Would that make any sense?!
I think of God as the perfect parent. That's why we call him Our Father! Can we honestly say that we think, one day, adoptive parents will get to the gates of Heaven, look into the eyes of God Himself, and hear Him say "You've done a good job. You've helped my children. You've given them a home and a family. You saved them. But I would really have preferred you helped one of my children who was geographically closer to you than the one who was in a different country." Um, I think not.
To John and me, the location of the child is irrelevant, other than affecting the means by which we need to bring them home. We considered adopting from the US, as well as Africa and Haiti...we've considered anywhere, really. We do have other reasons we choose to adopt from Korea and China. While some of them are a personal choice that we have every right to choose, believe it or not, one reason we adopt from other countries is actually patriotic.
Here's the thing. I did not earn the right to be an American. It is a God-given privilege. Some might say the military have earned that right, and to those who serve, and have served, in our military, I say THANK YOU. I am genuinely grateful! But when those men and women were newborn babies, they hadn't fought for our freedom yet anymore than I have now. If you were born in the U.S.A., you did not deserve that privilege any more than the babies born in Africa or China. God just smiled upon us, people, and blessed us with being a United States citizen. We're just that lucky...or just that blessed, however you want to see it.
There are babies in China now, whose birth parents had to be courageous to even carry them through pregnancy and give birth to them. If those birth parents had been caught pregnant, they would have had a government-mandated abortion. And the babies have no idea. They were left on a door step, or at the park, or the street corner, and they have no idea that they're lucky to even be alive and healthy (if they are healthy). They have no idea where they are. They have no idea because they didn't ask for it, and they don't deserve it.
There are kids in Africa right now who are happy because they're loved. They don't have much, but they've got their family. They have no idea that by the time they're five years old, both their parents will die of malaria or of AIDS. And they will be lucky to live to be an adult, because life expectancy there is nothing like what it is here. They have no idea, because they didn't ask for it, and they don't deserve it.
It sounds cheesy, yes, but I truly am "Proud to be an American." And I'm THANKFUL. And I'm HUMBLED. So why would I look at this gift that was given me, and say to an orphaned child that it's my gift, and I'm going to try to take care of other kids who were given the same gift first, and if I had anything left over, then I will try to send something to them too? The sad fact is that the poverty stricken of the United States are better off than the middle class in some countries. There are people here who are jobless, who are on welfare who receive food stamps, and while those people may very much need that help too, they did not earn the right to live in a country who will help them. The poor in other countries make the poor of America look wealthy. There are people who drink the same water they bathe in. There are kids whose parents walk 20 miles one way to get them an antibiotic because there are no such things as pharmacies where they live. I thank God I don't have to do that! So why would I not want to cherish this gift and share it with a child who is less fortunate? ...Specifically, a child less fortunate who has no parents to provide for her?
I've had someone say to me (I try to tell myself she meant well) "I'm Proud of my country! I think people should adopt from the United States! Kids here need help, too!" Yes, I agree, orphaned children in the US need help as well as orphaned children anywhere. However, I do not agree that an orphaned child in one region needs to be adopted before an orphaned child in another. You adopt from here; I'll adopt from there. Adoption is God's work. If someone would like to tell me and my husband that we aren't doing God's work correctly, then by all means, please show us how it should be done. It would find homes and families for more orphaned children.
Some day, we'd like to adopt another child from the US. Honestly, we joke that we'd like to get one from each country! I know we could never afford that, but a colorful diversity sounds good to us! But this time around, we're going with China, because it's just what's right or us now.
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