My second daughter's first gift

A couple of weeks ago, I read another person's adoption blog, in which someone had commented that they "cringe" when they hear of people talking about adoption, saying that it's God's plan that the parents and their adopted child be a family.  For a second, I re-read that statement a couple of times to be sure I understood it correctly.  But the writer went on to say that the sad fact is, that every adoption begins with loss.  I can only speculate a bit here, but I suppose the writer might have thought God wouldn't have wanted them to lose their birth parents in the first place, so it wouldn't be in His divine plan for an adoptive family to be formed (???).  CLEARLY, I disagree with the latter part of that last sentence, but I will say this: every adoptive child has been dealt a great loss, but their loss has already happened.  Adoption begins with LOVE.  And I hope an adopted child's life also involves such a tremendous gain that it overwhelms the loss they might feel.  At least that's what I hope for my kids. 

For some reason, this particular blog, of all the ones I’ve read (and there are several), has stood out in my mind.  I think it’s because the writer mentioned God’s plans, and implied that adoption would not be something God planned for His children.  So I’d like to ask this: if not adoption, what does God have planned for orphaned children?   


With that in mind, I want to share a little story.  Last week, I went to visit my Montgomery family in Kentucky.  John had to work, but the kids and I had a great visit with family (while we missed him, of course).  We went there to see my niece Morgan's Confirmation.  For those readers who don't know, Catholic Confirmation is a big deal!  It's the time when a young Catholic person is grown-up and mature enough to decide their faith for themselves, and make a conscious decision to be 'confirmed' a Catholic.  Each Confirmation candidate goes through their religious education classes, and chooses a sponsor--someone to stand in front of the church with them, put their hand on their shoulder, saying 'Yes, this person is ready to be confirmed Catholic, and I will support her in her faith.'  And my niece asked me to be her sponsor!  What an honor!

You may be wondering, but I am getting back to the topic of adoption (since this is an adoption blog).  I wanted to get Morgan a small, but appropriate gift to remember the day she was confirmed, so I went into a Christian store to look for just the right thing.  We had been on a field trip that day, and had just finished a lunch at a restaurant, where my boys found a creative use of their paper napkin rings by folding them into neat little triangular 'footballs'.  Upon walking into the store, they realized right away that I would be browsing a while (they know me well), and went and found a nice little spot on the floor to flick their football into each other's makeshift goal posts (their fingers.)  Two of three were occupied!  Yes!  And when it comes to shopping, Sara is the one of my three kids who is right there with me, ready to browse with the best of them, so I thought she could help me choose Morgan’s gift.  But alas, Veggie Tales was playing on the TV in the kids' section, so I lost her attention, too.  No worries, now I could really take the time to look around like I wanted to.  


I considered every different thing, from pictures to necklaces, to little stone crosses to sit on a dresser, to a heart necklace with her birthstone in it (I almost got that one).  But before I finally settled on the little jeweled, framed cross for Morgan to hang on her wall, I noticed some photo frames with sayings on them.  As a lot of my blog readers know, I love taking pictures!  So naturally, I'm a sucker for unique frames.  I was glancing along the shelf, when one frame stopped me dead in my tracks.  It read:
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

 I thought immediately of my daughter.  (The one I haven't met yet.) 

God created us, didn't He?  The Bible says "Before you were born, I knew you," (Jeremiah 1:5).  So He really would know us with inexplicable, deliberate detail.  He also knows what's going to happen in our lives, whether it's something He wants or not.  He knows if a child will be aborted before they're even born, and He knows if a child will be abused or neglected.  He also knows if a child will be abandoned. And while I seriously doubt God would ever plan any of those things for His children, for goodness sake, wouldn't we think God would want something more for them in their future, even if they've experienced something like that in their past?

I don't have all the answers, but I think we have to look at the big picture here.  God loves His children.  And we are all His children.  I don't think for a minute that He would ever want a child to grow up without a family.  Period.  That cannot be His plan.


There are a lot of things I don’t know, but while we’re on the subject, let’s talk about some other things that I do know, or at least some things I strongly believe.  I believe that my husband is the only person on the planet that I could ever be this happy with, and who could truly complete me.  (Maybe that's mushy, but it's true.)  And I believe that out of all the countless tiny bits of DNA He used to create my two boys, he chose them to be Exactly who He intended for them to be, and they are growing up right where He intends them to grow up.  I don't think any of it’s coincidence.  And along that same train of thought, I also believe that God created Sara to be with us.  I believe that when He created her, He knew her birth parents were not in a position where it was possible for them to care for and raise a child, and so He created her with the intention of her being a part of this family.  You can call me crazy, but there is no doubt of this in my mind.  She's like a bright, loving little puzzle piece that fits just right, because she's part of us.  She’s a part of our hearts, and we are a part of hers.  There will probably be times when she questions how she got here, and John and I will support her through that in every way we possibly can, and I know her brothers will, too. If I were in her shoes, I would wonder about things, too.  But none of that would ever mean that she's not exactly where God intends for her to be.

Now also along that same train of thought, I believe we have another daughter out there now, and we haven't met her yet.  But like I said, I don’t have all the answers.  Here are some things I don’t know.  I don't know why she was born so far away from us, or why we live so far away from her, and why it’s so difficult to bring her home.  I don’t understand why there is a country with such a predicament as not being able to house all the people born in that country, because of space, and why some countries can’t afford food for their children, and I don’t know why there are so many children in the world with no families.  I don’t understand why I was so lucky to be born in the United States into a family who loves me, but I’m glad I was.  I don't understand why God is calling us to adopt this little girl now, rather than when she was a baby.  Another adoptive mom told me that her daughter has asked her "Mom, why didn't you come to get me sooner?  I wanted and waited for you!"  (This little girl was seven when she came home.)  What am I going to say if my daughter asks me that some day?  I don't know that, either.   But I do know this: If we are going to adopt this little girl, then God has already marked her as ours.  And that one thing is what keeps us going when this seems impossible.  We know our child is somewhere without us, and she needs us. 

She will be here with us eventually, and all the waiting and the work will be worth it.  But right now, there are times I can’t stop thinking of where she is today...this month...this year.  And it worries me.  I think of how many birthdays she's had, and will have, without us.  And I wonder why she can't come home sooner.  I think of conditions in orphanages, and while the children who live in them are clothed and fed, it is not the same as being parented, and it is not the same as having a family.  I think of the many kids all around the world, in any country, on any continent...how some of them live in the streets...how some are orphaned, and no one even knows...how in some countries, where there aren't enough orphanages for their children, the kids take care of each other, just trying to survive, not even considering school or education, or birthday parties with their families, because some of these kids don’t know when their birthdays are...  I think of the ones that grow up and age out of their systems, without ever being adopted; and when they turn 18, or 21, or 40, they don't have a mom or dad to call them and say "Happy Birthday! I am SO GLAD you were born!"  And I know, without a doubt, that no matter how much in life I don’t understand, I know God must have something better planned for them.  We just have to do our part to help carry out those plans.

I read the passage "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future," and it is very real to me that God speaks that message to all of us, everywhere.  He has plans for all my kids--for my sons and my daughters, for them to prosper, and for them to have a future--not a future filled with loss and regret, but a future full of love and promise.  A future filled with hope.  And even if I don’t know why our daughter is so far away, and have no idea how long it will take to bring her home, I know that God has a future planned for her, here with us.  So we have to keep going.

So there I stood, staring at this picture frame in the middle of Lifeway Christian Store, with big, fat tears in my eyes, like an idiot.  It’s amazing what can come rushing through a person’s mind in a matter of about a minute or so.  I tried to pull myself together, hoping to avoid the questions of "Mom, you look like you're crying.  Are you okay?  Why would you be standing in a bookstore, crying?", and I was grateful for paper footballs and Veggie Tales.  I know it will probably be a couple of years before our second little girl will come home, but I had to get that frame for her anyway.  I want her to know, some day, that we knew she had a future long before we even met her.  I like to imagine it with her picture in it, looking peaceful and happy, with those words surrounding her image--God's promise to her, and to all of us.  I pray that she somehow realizes that promise now, without her mom and dad, and her brothers and sister there to show her.  And with that, she can be happy while she waits for us, just as we are while we wait for her, with understanding of God’s plans in all our hearts.  “…Plans to give you hope and a future.”  

P.S. - Please stop by the coffee shop, purchase a t-shirt, or make a donation while you're here.  And don't forget to share this blog with your friends!  For those of you who are already doing that, thank you So Much!  

The Adoption Bug T-shirt store is up and running!

Our Adoption Bug t-shirt store is up and running as of this morning!  Hooray!!  We're so excited, and can't wait to get some t-shirts of our own so we can wear them and spread the good word about adoption!  We have six shirts for sale, and proceeds from every shirt go toward our little girl's adoption expenses.  Just click the t-shirt link on the right to take a look and see if there's a shirt (or a few) you'd love to get!  


Also, if you feel so led, please consider sharing this link with your family and friends!  Thanks again for all of your support!! 

It takes a village...

I've always liked the old saying "It takes a village to raise a family."  I think it also takes a village to bring one together sometimes.  We've had several friends in Lebanon who have offered to help out in the adoption fund raising, and I want to say thank you!!  We would not be able to do this alone!  :)  It means a lot to all of us. 


We're throwing around lots of ideas for the first fund raiser to get on the books, and ask that you all help us pray about what one(s) to do first.  There are so many possibilities, and so much to do!  It's exciting, and maybe a little bit overwhelming, but right now I'm just eager to get this ball rolling and make some progress!  If you have any ideas or suggestions, please feel free to share them with us.  We're currently considering a teen lock-in, a "Forever Family Fun Day", barbecue sales, and several other ideas we're looking into.  Of course we need to acquire permission, locations, and volunteers for these ideas, so we can make them happen.  I think we can do it!

Of course we already have our coffee store up and running (see the Just Love Coffee link to the right), and now we have another online store almost ready!  I got an e-mail this morning from the good people at www.AdoptionBug.com, saying that our adoption t-shirt store will be up and running some time this weekend!  (I'll post the link to it when it's operative.)  Profits from these t-shirts go to help orphans here and around the world.  And if you buy a shirt specifically from our store, it will go to fund our adoption!


In other happy news, today we're sending in our initial application to the adoption agency!  WOOHOO!!  Adopting requires a ton of paperwork, but I'm glad to feel that we have a start, even if we've only filled out the first few papers.  :) 


Sara is very excited about having a sister, and the boys seem to be feeling more excited about it, too.  When we first mentioned the idea, they had mixed reactions of feeling happy, and wanting to give a child a family, and just considering and adjusting to the idea of having another family member to share our things and space with.  They're such realists, like their mom and dad.  :)  They think of all the wonderful parts, and all the challenges of having four kids in the family too.  They are very compassionate by nature, though, and I am so proud of my kids for that.  Just the other day, we were talking about conditions in an African village we recently learned of, where there are 300 children in a single orphanage set on a 5-acre plot, and 1,200 children in the streets, waiting to get into the orphanage to have a better life there.  With Sara being only five years old, she doesn't fully understand the scope of things like that.  The boys think of these bits of information soberly, though.  Jacob thought for a moment, and said "Thank God we live here!".  He meant it literally.  I wholeheartedly agree! 


Later that day, we later saw a listing on an adoption website of a little 8-year-old Chinese boy who was perfectly healthy, made good grades in school, was beginning to learn English already, and really liked sports, especially martial arts.  If we weren't looking to adopt a little girl this time around, I would definitely have contacted the agency about that little guy.  Then the kids started talking about possibly adopting another boy some day, and how if we had all the money in the world, we could adopt 10 or 15 kids!  (Okay, this might be entertaining to talk about, but let's not get Too crazy!)  They talked about how happy the kids would be just to have a family who loved them, and brothers to help teach them Taekwondo, and how to shoot an air soft gun...then the conversation shifted to having a family air soft war, if we had enough people, and went off on a tangent from there.  But in the end, I hope and pray that my kids all grow up with a grateful heart, and a willingness to help others, and to open their hearts (and sometimes their homes) to those who need love.  I think they may be growing into just that kind of people. 


Did you know there are an estimated 147 million orphans in the world today?  It's a problem of epidemic proportions!  It can be overwhelming at times, because goodness knows one person (or one family, or even a city) can't help them all.  But when I get overwhelmed, even with my to-do list or with every-day life, I have to just break it down, pick a starting point, and take it one step at a time.  I saw a t-shirt the other day that said "How do you reach 147 million orphans?  One at at time."  I love that!  Of course, that doesn't mean every family should adopt.  Some people can adopt, while other people can help these kids find families by helping out with adoption fund raisers, donating to adoption agencies, by praying for them, purchasing fair trade coffee (see the link to the right) or purchasing an adoption t-shirt like this one, or in general helping spread the good word about adoption!  We can all be a part of the 'village' to help to raise a child, even if it's a child we may never meet.  There's a lot we all can do, and every little bit makes a very big difference in a child's life, in giving them something that can never be replaced--in giving them a family.  

To all the people who are a part of my kids' 'village', thank you so much!

Sara's Adoption Story is here!

I wanted to publish Sara's adoption story, in case any of you wonderful blog readers would like to share it with us!  It's a bit longer than the average blog post, so I set up this stand-alone site at www.SarasAdoptionStory.blogspot.com.  I will not continue to make posts to the new site, though, as its sole purpose is to publish Sara's story.  For updated posts, please continue to visit this site.  Also, if you enjoy reading about our adoption experiences, and would like to help us along our journey, please share this site with your friends, post it to your Facebook or MySpace profile, hand out fliers on the street corners, announce it to the neighborhood with a megaphone...you get the idea.  ;-)  Please help us spread the word!  (Fyi, at the bottom of each post you'll see a small row of buttons you can use to share this easily.  There are buttons to share this in e-mail, blog, Twitter and Facebook, and Google Buzz.  Just a simple click away!)

ALSO, here's a happy side note!  On the right of this blog page, you'll see the logo for our online Just Love Coffee store!  Please take a moment to visit the store, and see if there's anything you'd like to order.  $5 from every bag goes to support our adoption!

One sweet moment...

Okay, I don't intend to blog every day (or anywhere close), but this one was too sweet not to share.  

Sara has always been good at tugging at my heart strings without even knowing.  When I'm not feeling well, she's the one who brings me a blanket and gives me a kiss, and asks if she can get me anything.  Sometimes she'll show me a baby doll in a stroller, and says "Look at my new baby, Mama!  I just adopted her today!  It's her first day home, and look--her hair sticks up just like mine did."  And sometimes she simply asks questions, and her innocence and sweet sincerity in those moments touches me in a way that is hard to describe.  


We don't only talk about adoption when we celebrate her Gotcha Day, but it happened to be on her Gotcha Day this year that the conversation came up.  Apparently, it had never really sunken in for her that I am her brothers' birth mother and their forever mom too.  When that came up this time, it seemed like it really struck her for a minute.  "You mean, you were their birth mom, and you didn't give them away??" she asked.  "Well...then...why did my birth mother..." she wondered aloud.  (Fyi, I wouldn't have referred to Sara has being 'given away', but those are the words she used in this case.)  We said of course we kept the boys, because her Daddy and I were able to take care of them just fine.  If we didn't have the money to buy bottles and diapers, or didn't have proper medical care (I explained what that meant), or we didn't have jobs, then that would be different.  John and I also reminded her a bit about why her birth parents decided what they did for her.  But, we said, we wanted to keep the boys just like we wanted to adopt and keep her, and God meant for us to be their forever parents, too.  I think she really thought hard about that on the way home that night, even though her thoughts were frequently interrupted intermittently with utter silliness and giggles between herself and her brothers.  The kids were really hamming it up that night for some reason.  But I know she thought more about it, because later that evening, she brought it up again.


"Mom, how come my foster parents didn't just keep me and adopt me themselves, instead of just keeping me for a while until somebody else adopted me?" she asked when we were getting her ready for bed that night.  We talked about that for a minute.  We told her how foster parents' jobs are to keep babies and kids until they go home to their forever families, and her foster parents knew that's how it would be.  I explained how we already knew she was ours, and her foster parents knew that too, but adoptions just take a long time, so they took great care of her and loved her while we all waited.  "I'll bet my foster mom sure does miss me sometimes, and would be so happy to see me now," she told me.  I said I'm sure she would.  Who wouldn't be?!  "And how did the people know that I was your baby, and how did you and Dad know that I was your baby too?  How come I didn't just go to some other family?  How did they choose?  How did they know...who was the right people?" Struggling for words, she looked like she was fighting back tears.  So I told her that in the case of many Korean babies, the people at the agency actually pray over the babies, and ask that God lead them to just the right parents for that child (true story), and out of the whole world full of parents, God chose us for her!  Lucky us!  (She liked that!)  Her expression changed quickly, though, and she was back to blinking away tears.  I thought she must have felt hurt that other families didn't all want to keep her, but then I realized that wasn't it.  "I mean, I wouldn't want to hurt another family's feelings or anything, but I just would have to tell them."  
"Tell them what, honey?  What are you saying?" I asked her.
"I'd have to tell them that there was some kinda mistake or something, and I was supposed to be with you.  I wouldn't want them to feel sad or anything, but I would have to tell them they needed to take me to you and Dad, and God chose you guys for my family."  
I scooped her up in my lap, gave her a great big hug, smiled and told her that we wouldn't have to worry about that, because God had it all taken care of for us.  He would never lead her anywhere else but here. 
"I'm sure glad about that!!" she replied, smiling a relieved smile.  "And Mom, um, that was a long hug."


I thought it was going to be our first conversation in which she felt any sense of loss or rejection from being "given up" for adoption.  I know we may have a conversation about that (or several) some day, and that will be okay too.  But for today, I was blessed to hear her telling me just how glad she is that God chose us to be together.  I can't help but think she's not half as glad as we are.

Gotcha day!

Exactly five years ago today, we met our sweet little Sara in person for the first time and brought her home.  Yay for Gotcha Day!!  We don't want to make it like another birthday, exactly, but we never want Gotcha Day to go by unnoticed, either.  Sometimes we take her and the boys out for milkshakes, sometimes we bake a cake together (she helps in every step of the baking), and once we took her to a Korean restaurant, where we found out that almost everything they served was spicy, so all she could eat was rice.  But we always make sure that during her special treat, we talk with her about that special day we brought her home.  

We knew that today the kids had tutorial classes, and Taekwondo and boy scouts were scheduled for this evening, so we celebrated last night.  We asked her what she wanted to do, and she chose dinner at her favorite Chinese buffet, then we all came home and pulled out the keepsake box that has her baby things in it, and the diaper bag the escort gave us at the end of her flight from Korea to us.  That diaper bag still has the two baby bottles they sent home with her, with her name written on them in both English and Korean.  There's one last diaper with Korean writing on it, a magazine they gave us, and a letter that we think is her final healthy check-up statement from the doctor to the Korean adoption agency (which, of course, we can't read).  Her foster parents sent a small photo album of baby pictures they took of her when she lived with them, so we looked at those pictures too.  We also took out her Hanbok (a garment Korean children wear on special occasions, like their birthdays or on New Year's Day).  And we talked a lot about her adoption.

Since we looked through all of her momentos and pictures from when she was still in South Korea last night,  tonight she and I sat down and looked at the pictures we took here at home when she was a baby.  We saw the pictures of her original Gotcha Day, and the photos of all the days following, when she was first getting to know her home.  Sara loooooves talking about when she was a baby, and seeing pictures of when she first came home, and pictures of her foster home in Korea.  I'm especially glad we have one photo with her foster mother holding her; I think it means a lot to her to see the lady who cared for her until she came home to us. I will forever be grateful to the many people who played a part in bringing our daughter home. 
Happy Gotcha Day, Sara! 

The Rest of the Story

         Some of my Facebook friends may have read this already, as this was originally going to be my first post.  I decided my initial post might need to be a shorter intro, so I'm posting this one now, in case anyone might like to read a more full version of what got us here.  If you'd like to read a shorter summary, please see my initial post, "A Sister for Sara".  Sara's adoption story will be posted soon, as well!


          Have you ever seen a small child walking down the street, holding her mom or dad’s hand, looking all around her while they’re walking, but not bothering to look where they’re headed?  She walks along, maybe even stumbles sometimes, but the all the while, she has a relaxed, complete trust—no, she has faith, that her mother or father is taking her right where she needs to be.  Sometimes that’s what my life reminds me of.  I’m like the child, sometimes walking gracefully, and sometimes stumbling through life, but holding my Holy Father’s hand, trusting He’ll take me where I need to go.  At times, I look around me and think to myself “When did we get here?”, but then I remember.  My Father led me here.

        On that note, at times I have to remind myself what ever started us thinking about adoption in the first place.  My husband John and I had no difficulty getting pregnant, and my two pregnancies were both good, with normal, healthy deliveries of my beautiful boys.  When our youngest son was one year old, we knew a teenage girl who was put into foster care because of an abusive situation at home, and we started thinking about foster parenting.  But there was this one snag: We knew that once we bonded with a child, and accepted them into our family, it would break our hearts to give them back!  And so it began. 

          In a nutshell, we felt called.  We were not only open to the idea of adopting.  It appealed to us for reasons we didn’t even fully understand.  But there were some things we did understand.  We knew there were children in the world who not only needed homes, but needed families.  And there still are.  These kids need a mom to give them hugs and kisses when they fall down, someone to read them stories, and snuggle on the couch and watch Little Bear or Star Wars.  Kids need dads to chase them through the house yelling “I’m gonna get you!”, and they need to laugh until they can’t breathe when he does.  Little girls need a mom to talk about boys with, and to take them dress shopping when they’re old enough to go to a dance.  And boys need a dad to throw a baseball with them, or at them, totally by accident…a dad they love so much they’d forgive him even after being hit by that baseball three times in two days.  (Those numbers are completely hypothetical, by the way.)  Some of them need brothers and sisters to play outside with them, to teach them how to throw a Frisbee, and to let them borrow their favorite cap that says martial arts in Chinese symbols and not get mad if they drop it in the dirt (most of the time).  These are the brothers and sisters who will always stick up for them no matter how much they get picked on, or who will take them down a notch or two if they pick on somebody else.  They need something more than culture, more than food, clothing and shelter.  These kids need a stronghold of people who will be with them through all the years they have here on Earth, no matter what happens, good or bad.  They need family.  And we knew we could give a child that.

 

I once heard someone say that to be an adoptive parent, you can’t just be a good parent; you have to be a great parent.  I’m not sure whether I agree with that or not.  But while it may be true, I will say this—I know a lot of great parents whose children aren’t adopted.  I also know some great parents who have no desire to adopt, and that doesn’t make them any less fantastic parents.  Adoption is not for everybody.  Neither is mountain climbing, or Olympic gymnastics, or martial arts, or mission work, or anchovies.  God made all of us to be different, and there is no one calling from the Lord that is any better than another, as long as we’re doing what we believe God wants us to do.  He made my husband and myself such a perfectly fitted match that we seem to agree on all the important things, but disagree on enough just to keep life interesting.  And there’s one really big thing we agree on; we are both open to, and drawn to, adoption.  And no matter how God delivers these precious children to us, we consider ourselves blessed, and graced with His trust in us.
 

So here we are, in 2011.  Our oldest son, Aaron, is 13 years old now.  Jacob will turn 10, and Sara will turn 6 this year.  We’ve thought our family was probably complete as it is, but for several years, we’ve also had another idea in the back of our minds.  Countless children around the world are still without parents.  Many adoptive couples want to adopt babies.  There’s nothing wrong with that—we did too, the last time!  But this time around, we would like to adopt a slightly older child.  We would like to keep the current birth order of our children, with Sara being the third in line, so we’re thinking of a child around five years old.  Here’s why.

We’ve had three babies.  (Okay, so we adopted one, but we still had her as a baby, whether I gave birth to her or not.)  There’s nothing in the universe that I would trade for having them here with me as babies.  I nursed them, fed them bottles, and changed their diapers.  I watched their first steps, and heard their first words.  And it was priceless.  With that being said, John and I, as parents, have been blessed with the experience of having three babies, and feel fulfilled in that.  And there are children in the world who still need families, and if they weren’t adopted as infants, their chance for a forever family shouldn’t be gone.  

Thousands of little girls are in Chinese orphanages right now, waiting to be adopted.  Because most couples want to adopt babies, or at least a child as young as they can get, the longer children are in an orphanage, the more likely they are to stay there.  In China, once a girl is 14 years old, she ages out of the orphanage and moves out on her own.  She is put into the work force, with secondary school and university almost definitely out of the question.  She has no family, no home, and will have a difficult time finding a job, because potential employers consider orphans to be bad luck.  Imagine, being preschool-aged, and because you're no longer a baby, your future is already written out for you!  After much prayer and conversation, a few moments of thinking something like “what are we, crazy? Four kids??”, and then some more prayer, John and I would like to adopt a slightly older child from China—a sister for Sara.  We believe this is what God has planned for us, although we admit it is a bit confusing, because while we can afford to feed, clothe, and love four children, we do not have money to pay the adoption costs.  A typical Chinese adoption averages around $25,000.  That leaves us with a lot of work to do!!  (In case you wonder, domestic adoptions in America, on the whole, are about the same cost as international, and sometimes can be more expensive.  We have reasons for choosing China.  More on that later.)  

       Sometimes I feel like God’s asking a lot of us.  I sure don’t know how He expects us to pay for an adoption, but I’m thinking, and hoping, He does know.  I honestly think and believe that if it is in His plan for us, then He will provide a way.  He created the world from nothing, created me and you, and conquered the devil himself; who says He can’t provide us a way to adopt?  He’s done it before!  But this time, though, it’s going to require more faith.  We paid for Sara’s adoption with a home equity loan, and having already borrowed on the equity in our house, we can’t do that again.  So if this is going to happen, it’ll be a lot of fund raising work (including some help from anyone who’s willing), and a great big dose of faith that God will help us raise the money!  So God’s asking for our faith, our patience, and our love.  Maybe that is asking a lot.  I’m not complaining, though.  I know He’ll help us along the way.  And it could be much harder.  

I’m thankful I was blessed to be born in this wonderful country, and grew up with a mom, a dad, eight brothers and sisters, and a family and community where I knew I had roots.  (The word ‘thankful’ isn’t big enough for how I feel about this, but sometimes words fail me.)  Sometimes I wonder, considering all the people, and all the places in the world, why am I so lucky?  I could have been born into a family who couldn’t care for me, or in a country where my parents weren’t allowed to keep more than one child.  God could be asking me to have faith even if I were five years old, in an orphanage with no family, seeing other children find their forever families while I grew one year older (and less likely to be adopted) every year I was there.  He could ask me to have faith that He cared, and that He would take care of me if I aged out at 14 years old.  It would be harder to see the light in the darkness then.  If we are able to raise the money, and if we can adopt again, then I know the Lord will return the favor by putting His faith in us, by entrusting us with another beautiful little one to love.  

So I’m writing this blog as a means to get the word out.  We have several fund raiser ideas so far, but need time and manpower (or womanpower, or kidpower) to make them happen.  There are a ton of questions!  First, and most obvious, where do we start?  We need to decide on a fund raiser kick-off, and get the show on the road!  However, (to state the obvious,) fund raisers only raise funds if there are people involved.  We are hoping that all our family and friends will read this site, and tell their families and friends, and they’ll tell more friends… so that when we get the fund raising started, hopefully we’ll have enough of an audience to make a difference in a little girl’s life, to give her a family, and (we humbly ask this part) to give us another daughter.